Get all 11 Maggie Morgan releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of High School, tonight (haight & filmore), Believe Me!, eclipse/you, The Greatest Weight, Wasting Time, love, Mimesis, and 3 more.
1. |
Preface: Gay Science
04:36
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my words are all i have sometimes
when nobody wants to listen to me cry
and how could they hear me, over this deafening screaming?
i lose my voice yelling at an uncaring sky
and i have spent the last six months or so
alone and wallowing in my disease at home
my bones might feel brittle, and my joy might have been little
but now, hot, out from me like thawing winds it blows
this whole thing is nothing but a bit of merry-making
after a long isolation and powerlessness
the rejoicing of strength returning
of a re-awakened faith in tomorrow, and all ensuing days
of a sudden sense and anticipation
of a future, of impending adventures on open seas again
and what did not lie behind me then!
sometimes i get tired of the world
and a humankind that doesn’t think at all
and i find myself in tyranny, of self-destructive tendencies
and i isolate myself til i can come up for air
but now gratitude pours forth from me
like a crystal waterfall, continually
and after all this thirst, in that desert so accursed
the clear blue water is ecstasy
this whole thing is nothing but a bit of merry-making
after a long isolation and powerlessness
the rejoicing of strength returning
of a re-awakened faith in tomorrow, and all ensuing days
and after this aweless experience
i need nothing more than to look for something foolish
and who would mind if i wanted some gay science or exuberance?
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2. |
1. The Greatest Weight
03:44
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as i lie awake in bed at night
in the throes of despair, loneliest loneliness, im trying
just to stay awake,
to breathe in and out in a life that has no weight
do your hands ever feel like sand?
meaningless and empty, like everything you touch falls through them
into this hourglass, sitting upside down
and drips right out the bottom to the ground, to the ground
and i feel, like i will crumble
if nothing new takes hold and i am cursed to repeat
my life in an endless circle
with every ounce of failure and defeat, and nothing new to see
even every joy and every smile and every sigh
will be echoing forever in the corners of my mind
and it fills me up with dread,
to imagine it, what does that say about me?
i am seized all over by terror,
something give me strength to move on from all my errors
and tell me, what does it mean?
i feel like i have seen a god, a divine and holy being, beyond me
cause in an instant something shifts, im overcome, crushed, and possessed
by this idea - do i desire this over again for all existence
oh, and do i have a choice, i feel the gravity in my voice above it
and all fragility escapes me
oh the greatest weight,
fills me up and it brings me down from nothing into foundation
my weightlessness, it is
no more and i know i’m happy in this haven, and all its sense
every moonlit tree with deep black leaves,
shines its light on me, and i am filled with an ineffable feeling of salvation,
like the world has forgiven me
and given me in return,
fulfillment and resolve
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3. |
2. Avarice
03:07
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How my heart takes possession
And longs for something new
Each time I get tired
Ego in its full expression
Exclude the world from precious good
For my desire
All that I will say to you
Calling through a distance
From my heart and mine alone
And do I call this love
Oh this feeling, I just want to cover you
Here I lie with such intestinal blight
My stomach is turning, it keeps me up at night
Acidic lust burns up these butterflies
I am filled with desire, my love, to make you mine, mine, mine
Changing and maintaining myself,
I just want to own you
To cover you completely
I alone want to be loved by you
Reach my hand into your heart
And take it all for me
And if any other hand
Has any other stake in you
I’d be deprived
Cause all my love for you consumes me
Imagine life without it, darling I’d cry
Here I lie with such intestinal blight
My stomach is turning, it keeps me up at night
Acidic lust burns up these butterflies
I am filled with desire to make you mine
Avarice in every crevice of my mind
A love pure and simple, all-consuming fire
Before I move on to pleasure of a higher kind
I am filled with desire, my love, to make you mine, mine, mine
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4. |
3. Eternal Force
04:24
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I stand on a precipice
And the wind blows up from under me
Will it take me away?
Above me stars spin around elegantly,
Silver and delirious -
They lead me astray
And I think that maybe it’d be not so hard to find
A little sense of reason in the wind’s poetic rhymes
And the overlapping stanzas in the star’s eternal lines
Lord knows those before me have
But all this is, this beauty and excellence
Is a melody with no chorus, modulating on forever
Yet there is no eternal force and that infernal key
Is lost, or maybe it is broken, but either way
The box, I can’t wind the box up again
It’s chaos and a beautiful mistake
I delight in all inconsequence
Life’s insignificance,
And all that is
I might say the world is picturesque
Aesthetically splendiferous
And that would be no sin
But I know that deep down I’d be wrong to believe
That there is any law that governs the changing of the leaves
Or my lungs that take air in and out each time I breathe
Though Lord knows those before me have believed it
But all this is, this beauty and excellence
Is a melody with no chorus, modulating on forever
Yet there is no eternal force and that infernal key
Is lost, or maybe it is broken, but either way
The box, I can’t wind the box up again
It’s chaos and a beautiful mistake
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5. |
4. Amor Fati
05:06
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The mist that rests inside my eyes
And the soft thump-thump of my heart
Oh they remind me of my fragile state
This is the body I wish to grow beyond
And I have had a tragic life
Filled with regret
And everybody looks for someone’s will to blame
And I accuse because I want something more (than this)
Maybe things don’t turn out right
Or maybe I take them too far
Just this one January night
I wanna have faith in fate
And to love how I’m living oh,
Mistakes and all
To see the beauty in my life,
Oh, I ask for nothing more.
Not just to bear all my mistakes,
But to love them all henceforth,
Even the pockmarks on my life,
Uglier and blacker than coal,
I want to love all I stand for
I have shut myself away
Hidden house up in the mountains
I cannot write to save my life
I cannot help but feel ungrounded
Reality seems like a lie
Satisfaction an illusion
I try to find beauty in suffering cause I have suffered so
I want to regret no more, regret no more
At the end of this sickness
Lest it all remain unsaid
That from all such abysses
I rise with a tenderer tongue
malicious and more joyful than before
i am newborn
To see the beauty in my life
Oh, I ask for nothing more
Not just to bear all of my sins
But to love them all henceforth
Even the pockmarks on my life
Uglier and blacker than coal
I want to love all I stand for
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6. |
5. Sober
02:38
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cold metal underneath my legs
cannot snap me out of my mind
though I can feel it underneath me I am
struck as I am stuck here waiting for
a sense of feeling to enclose me again
how in the past month have I felt nothing?
it has been at least three weeks since I've been drunk on passion
since the sickly sweet liqueur of love has coursed right through my veins
I thought that I'd be better off if I strayed from that connection
but this dryness has made desert dust of my brain
I am starting to think that maybe I was wrong
and it was bad to try and distance myself from all
the errors of my past and those before me
that have made me who I am today
as objective as I might try to be
in some way these make me think something
it has been at least three weeks since I've been drunk on passion
since the sickly sweet liqueur of love has coursed right through my veins
I thought that I'd be better off if I strayed from that connection
but this dryness has made desert dust of my brain
and all of you like me who try to turn from human fault
should know that ignorance is all that comes from this mistake
cause none of this is real until we know just what to call it
and it would be a shame to forget the name
won't it make a dry desert dust from my brain
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7. |
6. Misery
04:24
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Misery, we don’t know you anymore
Wherefore have you left us
These days nobody wants to say your name
Unless in theoretical discourse
Experience, the Age of Fear
Lost to little and petty descriptions
Sickening refinement, of the body and the soul
This is how it seems with most
To live is to suffer,
But we’ve grown so numb to pain
That life’s every lesion kills our lamb
If times were tougher,
Then perhaps we could abstain
From fearing all that gives us cognizance
Mosquito bites on the inside of my soul
Harsh and bloody like a war
Malignant scars on the stomach of my life
My teeth are riddled with tumors
My jaw aches heavy with the weight of living
I can barely bring myself to speak
And misery destroys itself, for all it is
Is the feeling felt by the week
To live is to suffer,
But we’ve grown so numb to pain
That life’s every lesion kills our lamb
If times were tougher,
Then perhaps we could abstain
From fearing all that gives us cognizance
To live is to suffer
But we’ve grown so numb to pain
That life’s every lesion kills our lamb
If times were tougher,
Then perhaps we could abstain
From fearing all that gives us cognizance
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8. |
7. Mirrored Mind
03:56
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my mind is shiny like a mirror
sweet reflection of the world in which i reside
phantoms and false lights dance on the walls
of the cave inside my soul and i am terri-
-fied of the demons dancing round me
yet im drawn like a moth is to light
but they will burn me up inside their candles in hot fire
that lights inside me
but in the light
there exists a holy presence that i cant deny
fractured rays
come together and i feel the warmth of His gaze
but it makes me cold
i turn away from the greatness in the depths of my soul
self-magnified
light is pouring and im blinded in the underworld of my mind
yet who is this shining imposter?
who steals my blood from the redness in my veins
it drips down his lips like wax, hot and melting
he bores right through me with his empty gaze
i find im grounded in my body
like i cant crawl outside the confines of my mind
but maybe im just trapped under his shadows
im chained to the walls of this cave that i must live in-
-side for all eternity
any attempt to get out would destroy me
every whimper and worry just refracts, and all my fears
deepen around me
but in my mind
there is a false reflection in the center of the light
a big black hole
it takes the goodness and the light from the center of my soul
so i delude myself
the other world i wish for injures my internal health
and when the stars burn out
ill be left with nothing but the world inside itself
when i die
anorexic suicide
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9. |
8. Footbridge
05:14
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There was a time in our lives when we were so close
That nothing seemed to obstruct our friendship
And brotherhood, and only a small footbridge separated us
Just as you were about to step on it, I asked you:
"Do you want to cross the footbridge to me?"
Immediately, you did not want to anymore
When I asked you again, you just stayed silent
But I could hear your heart beating
And yet you didn’t want to cross to me
Since then, mountains and torrential rivers
And whatever separates and alienates
Has been cast between us on the ground.
And even if we wanted to get together,
We couldn't, but now, when you think of that
Little footbridge, words fail and you marvel and sob
Oh you know I get that sense when your feeling freezes
and you have power once again
that you long to be free of this weakness
You are governed by the whimsy of your heart
You get lost in your dissimulation
You hide those tender feelings like secrets
Cause in seeking truth we learn to be numb inside
To climb to the top of the mountain
And look at all its little rocks up close
But mountains lose majesty when they’re not at a distance
And such is the same with life
And yet we try to look inside
Since then, mountains and torrential rivers
And whatever separates and alienates
Has been cast between us on the ground.
And even if we wanted to get together,
We couldn't, but now, when you think of that
Little footbridge, words fail and you marvel and sob
Since then, mountains and torrential rivers
And whatever separates and alienates
Has been cast between us on the ground.
And even if we wanted to get together,
We couldn't, but now, when you think of that
Little footbridge, words fail and you marvel and sob
Since then, mountains and torrential rivers
And whatever separates and alienates
Has been cast between us on the ground.
And even if we wanted to get together,
We couldn't, but now, when you think of that
Little footbridge, words fail and you marvel and sob
(No, do not stay in the field!
Nor climb out of sight.
For the best view of the world,
Is from a medium height!
Bleib nicht auf ebnem Feld!
Steig nicht zu hoch hinaus!
Am schönsten siet die Welt
Von halber Höhe aus.)
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10. |
9. Poppies
03:41
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Gestern nachts, als alles schlief,
Kaum der Wind mit ungewissen
Seufzern durch die Gassen lief,
Gab mir Ruhe nicht das Kissen,
Noch der Mohn, noch, was sonst tief
Schlafen macht, - ein gut Gewissen.
Endlich schlug ich mir den Schlaf
Aus dem Sinn und lief zum Strande.
Mondhell war's und mild, - ich traf
Mann und Kahn auf warmem Sande,
Schläfrig beide, Hirt und Schaf: -
Schläfrig stieß der Kahn vom Lande.
Eine Stunde, leicht auch zwei,
Oder war's ein Jahr? - da sanken
Plötzlich mir Sinn und Gedanken
In ein ew'ges Einerlei,
Und ein Abgrund ohne Schranken
Tat sich auf: - da war's vorbei!
- Morgen kam: auf schwarzen Tiefen
Steht ein Kahn und ruht und ruht ...
Was geschah? so rief's, so riefen
Hundert bald: was gab es? Blut? - -
Nichts geschah! Wir schliefen, schliefen
Alle - - ach, so gut! so gut!
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11. |
Die Mohnblume
03:41
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Gestern nachts, als alles schlief,
Kaum der Wind mit ungewissen
Seufzern durch die Gassen lief,
Gab mir Ruhe nicht das Kissen,
Noch der Mohn, noch, was sonst tief
Schlafen macht, - ein gut Gewissen.
Endlich schlug ich mir den Schlaf
Aus dem Sinn und lief zum Strande.
Mondhell war's und mild, - ich traf
Mann und Kahn auf warmem Sande,
Schläfrig beide, Hirt und Schaf: -
Schläfrig stieß der Kahn vom Lande.
Eine Stunde, leicht auch zwei,
Oder war's ein Jahr? - da sanken
Plötzlich mir Sinn und Gedanken
In ein ew'ges Einerlei,
Und ein Abgrund ohne Schranken
Tat sich auf: - da war's vorbei!
- Morgen kam: auf schwarzen Tiefen
Steht ein Kahn und ruht und ruht ...
Was geschah? so rief's, so riefen
Hundert bald: was gab es? Blut? - -
Nichts geschah! Wir schliefen, schliefen
Alle - - ach, so gut! so gut!
---
Aus deinem Munde,
Du speichelflüssige Hexe Zeit,
Tropft langsam Stund’ auf Stunde.
Umsonst, dass all mein Ekel schreit:
"Fluch, Fluch dem Schlunde
Der Ewigkeit!"
Welt – ist von Erz:
Ein glühender Stier, – der hört kein Schrein.
Mit fliegenden Dolchen schreibt der Schmerz
Mir in’s Gebein:
"Welt hat kein Herz,
Und Dummheit wär’s, ihr gram drum sein!"
Giess alle Mohne,
Giess, Fieber! Gift mir in’s Gehirn!
Zu lang schon prüfst du mir Hand und Stirn.
Was frägst du? Was? "Zu welchem – Lohne?"
– – Ha! Fluch der Dirn’
Und ihrem Hohne!
Nein! Komm zurück!
Draussen ist’s kalt, ich höre regnen –
Ich sollte dir zärtlicher begegnen?
– Nimm! Hier ist Gold: wie glänzt das Stück! –
Dich heissen "Glück"?
Dich, Fieber, segnen? –
Die Thür springt auf!
Der Regen sprüht nach meinem Bette!
Wind löscht das Licht, – Unheil in Hauf’!
– Wer jetzt nicht hundert Reime hätte,
Ich wette, wette,
Der gienge drauf!
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12. |
||||
my words are all i have sometimes
when nobody wants to listen to me cry
and how could they hear me, over this deafening screaming?
i lose my voice yelling at an uncaring sky
and i have spent the last six months or so
alone and wallowing in my disease at home
my bones might feel brittle, and my joy might have been little
but now, hot, out from me like thawing winds it blows
this whole thing is nothing but a bit of merry-making
after a long isolation and powerlessness
the rejoicing of strength returning
of a re-awakened faith in tomorrow, and all ensuing days
of a sudden sense and anticipation
of a future, of impending adventures on open seas again
and what did not lie behind me then!
sometimes i get tired of the world
and a humankind that doesn’t think at all
and i find myself in tyranny, of self-destructive tendencies
and i isolate myself til i can come up for air
but now gratitude pours forth from me
like a crystal waterfall, continually
and after all this thirst, in that desert so accursed
the clear blue water is ecstasy
this whole thing is nothing but a bit of merry-making
after a long isolation and powerlessness
the rejoicing of strength returning
of a re-awakened faith in tomorrow, and all ensuing days
and after this aweless experience
i need nothing more than to look for something foolish
and who would mind if i wanted some gay science or exuberance?
|
Maggie Morgan San Francisco, California
Maggie Morgan is an independent singer-songwriter based in San Francisco, currently balancing her love of music with school.
She has been making singles since 2014, and released her first full-length album, Wasting Time, in 2017.
She makes all her music with one microphone she got from her dad's friend Steve in her bedroom, on GarageBand.
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